Setting the Record Straight

August 23, 2008

This Just In

Biden Says Obama to Alter Earth Orbit

     In his maiden speech as a candidate for vice president, Joe Biden made a couple of amazing assertions, which, if true, suggests he and Barack Obama should not be elected.
     Biden said that when Obama stands on the Senate floor, he stretches his body full length to reach across the aisle to pass legislation. Anyone who has been on the Senate floor knows, that even at Obama’s height, he cannot stretch that far.
     And why would he even try? In the Senate, to pass legislation actually means you help pass legislation by voting for it, and that means going into the well of the Senate and expressing your aye or nay to a clerk at a table in front of the dais.
     But Biden said Obama does it another way. He said, “He made his mark literally from day 1 reaching across the aisle to pass legislation….”
      As president, of course, Obama would no longer have a vote in the Senate, so he doesn’t have to behave in the silly way Biden describes.
      But Biden, and this is the real news, said if elected president Obama would have the opportunity to change the orbit of the Earth. If this is to be his solution to global warming, this is scary. It isn’t clear how he would go about it, but that is a scary prop- osition.
      Yet Biden said, “he will have such an incredible opportunity, incredible opportunity, not only to change the direction of America, but literally, literally, to change the direction of the world.”
      First job for the Obama/Biden campaign advisers: convince Biden, literally, to quit using the word “literally.” If he wants to use emphasis, choose another word or repeat it in the next breath as he is wont to do.




  1. I was wondering when the Dems were going to do something to fix the earth’s orbit. Gosh, what took them so long?

    Has Madonna been notified? Sounds like it’s time for another rock concert ….

    Comment by Ann's New Friend — August 23, 2008 @ 4:58 pm | Reply

  2. That literally was a ridiculous post! :)

    Comment by Ben Hoffman — August 23, 2008 @ 5:08 pm | Reply

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